Lamington tickle fiver
Garbo trunk bison
Ornery yank Tigger
Orb nicer leakings
Wonder wonder jowls

the piton stubbed my Pelorius Jack finding while craving the spade rooster helium high. Jane Hamilton bought this as a truth nooger and by hanky did she ever!
so if you ever spy the rooster helium time, don't forget to wage some kind of Holy war and feed the chooks while you are at it, bunker. tummy baster is to my liking...natch!
&sloooooow ratchet sandy bars.

Blandy bark tar gargle.
Sweeney moon chops car tidy.
Tum tum yarn yarn hey budgie
Calvacade Johnson candle baster
Urn turner zebra castor
Java Socrates scrum flyhalf
Wiggle snap cuff tanker
Ipsilon birdie num nums
Corn Duff oaky spleen poof
Woopie dang hey funny dumpster
Biff ambler dung post holes
Named after booty smirk buttons
Ark Tookie Jones wins spam moonie
Ya ha ya ha hey spin dribbler
Ooh fan blaster goodie pie shot

Schmagatz!

I live in Japan.
It's kinda weird.
Green traffic lights here are called blue, but they are green.
Kids draw the sun in red, not yellow.
Tonsils in Japanese is 'nodo-chinko' = 'throat penis'
The opening theme of Thunderbirds has Japanese lyrics.
Cans of beer in liqour shops are sometimes shelved upside down so you can see the bottoms. This is because a few times weirdos have drilled a hole in the bottom of cans, placed arsenic inside and sealed it, then placed the can on shelves in shops.
Beetle collecting is popular.
Women with sticky-outy ears are considered cute.
Windscreen in Japanese English is 'front glass'.
I ate a whole small raw octopus once...almost chucked.

mmmmmmmm...skittay
mmmmmmmm...skittay
mmmmmmmm...skittay
mmmmmmmm...dolph lungren

Phillip Sherry's eyebrows

I can find only two references to Phillip Sherry's eyebrows on the internet. What a crying shame.

Suggested character names for Star Wars Episode VII.

Looloo Barloo
Tiffy Barlucks
Ralph Nader
Sniggy Took Took Jones
Stiaw Mot
Fran Tarkenton

Spam e-mail subject title of the day - 'stupid will only buy softwares from shop, heheh protest'
by Jerrie Ida.

Ladies and gentlemen, no introduction necessary, the man himself , the one and only, not second place to Cathy Lee or John Davidson, the incomparable, MR FRAN TARKENTON!

I live in Japan.
It's kinda weird.
People use wooden sticks to eat their food.
They talk funny.
People are not fat.
I ate a grasshopper once...kinda crunchy.
Sushi spins around a conveyor belt in some restaurants.
The non-smoking section in a restaurant is really smoky.
Audrey Hepburn is very famous...but she is dead.
My toilet room is smaller than one on an airliner.
'Pocari Sweat' is a sports drink.
There are people here whose job is to break up relationships.
A stapler is called hotchkiss.
Kids graduate from kindergarten.

The sad story of Edward Beef

Edward Beef lost his balance one day.
He never got it back.
Now he has to use a wheelchair.

The moral of the story is 'never take your vestibular system for granted'.

My wife has a mobile phone with GPS. She also has a new vacuum cleaner. It's called a Mi 'my identity favourite gear' Twinbird.
According to her mobile phone the exact location of the Mi 'my identity favourite gear' Twinbird is Longitude 138 degrees, 11 mins 47; Latitude 36 degrees, 38 mins 46.
Always good to know.

'Crank your head time'

If you crank your head 90 degrees to the left what do you see?
You may be surprised.

'An ode to Kylie Minogue'

Dave Cardles kept one in his left trouser pocket. He liked it. On Sundays he would take it to the beach. Ah yes, the beach, the beach...full of stuff.
By night Dave Cardles took it out of his left trouser pocket and kept it safely protected in an old biscuit tin... you know, the kind your Grandma had in the pantry. Many a time I remember sneaking a biscuit out of the biscuit tin. They call them cookies in some places.
So he slept well at night knowing all was well. By joves yes!
One day Dave Cardles lost it. He went to the biscuit tin after a good nights sleep after a rather good night at the bingo hall.
'I'm sure I left it in the biscuit tin' he said to himselves.
'No matter, I will get a new one, it is after all just a material possession. It's not like it can't be replaced...not like Kylie Minogue.'
And so you see, Kylie is irreplaceable. Appreciate her today.

End of ode.

Spartan budgie hoover
Noodle pump fried-baxter
Quantum yarn yarn
Speedy ham cakes
Stunned linger smacks


Fran Tarkenton's hairpiece was a constant source of banana fried tipples in my youth-hood.
Oft did I see the thang spin when Cathy Lee's teeth did not Jagger lips.
That's Incredible! Yaa, hay chunky bikkies are spam to the Wildebeest.
?John, Davidson, John.

Treacle far necking
Jade bother reekings
Tallulah liver clues
Morsel Byloo team
Barter Sigmund's Palmolive

Hamlet died but three hamsters celebrated this far tucky.
Willi, oh Willi,far dung did biff onto the hey wickets bar none but you and.
Up close oil coated same plank tried the booster but sallied the ouch.
Hydrochloric stain bikkies are butts on the salve juice butters.
&pee jay nay tuffs

A conversation

The main protagonists:

Tuffy Links - amateur surgeon liker. tree-sparrer. young, intelligent and meek.
Mickey Beast - room dentist. chiton trainer. loud, winsome and loyal.
Gnasher Jones - bench muso. Shakespearean dancer. talented, likeable and neat.
The 3 Wildebeest - tuning fork beholder. deep space gleamer. mysterious, bold and fleeting.
Lord Phantom - cafe owner. lux putter greeter. jolly, parlayer of fine tidings.

the conversation begins at a cafe on the roadside somewhere in metropolis.
Tuffy Links and Mickey Beast, best friends of many a year are drinking latte and eating a sundae each. George Phantom, the owner of the cafe and confidant is just joining them as business is slow at this time of morning...

'parlux and warmest greetings to you fine fellows'
'parlux and warmest greetings to you Lord Phantom' chime Tuffy and Mickey.
'how be the order of the day Lord Phantom' asks Tuffy.
'car-transporters and jilly beans all round. parlux for asking. how be the passing of the tides for you?'
'be it good and loyal to me' says Tuffy.
'i be too Lord Phantom' says Mickey. 'i request the air, be this may so?'
'parlux waits' reply Tuffy and Lord Phantom.

'my latest peek tar is apon you...'.
Mickey begins...

"gleaming trilobites ponder beets, but it is the
light of Samson that pokes the pickle jar for forkdom.
hey! Jate! Pigger moons owe the teals more than jowls.
Revving jo-jo cascades across the shadow of giblet say you?
Urbane jamboree is lathed and.
!Hockney spurs"

'my latest peek tar be thus'

'joyous accolades and envy of parlux be i' Lord Phantom shouts.
'beelux and parnay' Tuffy joyously says.

'be not my finest peek tar, but i lay it to the waves'

Along the street The 3 Wildebeest makes his way to our fine parlay. The 3 wildebeest is a joy to the sights and hear of his fancy fellows, yet an enigma bestills his presence with a wondering and slight of ether that makes you wonder if he is of thyne imagination.

'who's there?' Lord Phantom cries. 'nay, answer me. stand and unfold yourself!'
'long live Parlux' shouts The 3 Wildebeest in reply.
'The 3 Wildebeest?' calls Lord Phantom.
'he'

!a short roar of laughter from the fellows ensues.

'byzantine greetings all round to my fine fellows' cheerfully bellows The 3 Wildebeest.
'and unto you' the fine fellows reply.

'had tardis been with you, you would have happened Mickey's fine Peek Tar, The 3 Wildebeest' commented Tuffy. 'it be beelux and parnay'.
'indeed all of and but' included Lord Phantom.

'the way of parlux, did not wish to be it, i am forlorn but content with it's will' replied The 3 Wildebeest.

'what of Captain Klegg be the stirrings?' asks Tuffy.

'Captain Klegg?...be it fine dandy stirrings. a story ensues...' replied The 3 Wildebeest. '..dare i?'

'you dare, you dare!' howled the fellows with merriment.

'then i dare!'

'our colleague of the gin, he of steel buns, taker of fluids, and sphincter jestings, has nowt mis-aligned from parlux but is prodding on its shinings for not all to witness.
five tidings ago from thus, i was in parlay with the good fellow of told, post employ. as so and all we parlayed in great ether footings.
at the hand 30 past the 5 he requested ex-parlay and fleeted foot in the high times, no reason given thus.
same and same continue, curiosity breathing on my nape. musings jest my mind.
why so this be? Sire Klegg is not known for prediliction of the beats of time!
i the 3 Wildebeest wishful of mind and with eye to Anubis, fleeted foot in hidden shadow of Sire known.
Sire Klegg's pounding of the feet take me nae far to the house of light and magic, our destination many a night for the amuse and merriment.
but wait! Sire known not in the house to relax and wonder, nae, he be in employ!
Sire known is swallowed by the machinations of employ, so i being of free mind and beats of time do hereby grant mine with the delight of said house's gain.
be it more delight when happen apon friendly fellows Gnasher Jones, Sirloin Parsnip, Vermouth Tiller and Jane Hamilton.
ensuing amuse be 'Citizen Kane' so bun stove we take. dealy snips display forth. ticular dealy snip be 'Boddington's malt ale'. apon said dealy snip expiring who be this entering amuse space and extro-parlay...

"i like the look of yon Boddingtons...fleet foot me immediately to o'house aqua-ether vendor to delight in said malt ale'?"

be it no more than Sire Klegg of his own being!!'

Howling Jinn of raucous merriment ensue from the fellows Tuffy Links, Mickey Beast and Lord Phantom.

'be this not our Sire Klegg?' roars Lord Phantom in jest.

'by parlux do i swear so!' replies The 3 Wildebeest, '...be it so'.

'thyne mind cannot parlay the image of said Sire as extro-parlay tender. however it came forth from tongue of trusted and exhalted self, therefore i am in belief!' said Lord Phantom to The 3 Wildebeest.

'our fine fellow and chum of many a parlay is indeed an ethernaut of the extreme, i salute Sire Klegg!' exclaimed Tuffy links.

'be so' Lord Phantom and The 3 Wildebeest echoed.

enter Gnasher Jones, who arrives by trusty steed.

'fine greetings and parlux be with you one and all' exclaims Gnasher.

'parlux and dandy mightings to you'
'parlux and warm greetings'
'by the hammer of Thor we welcome you' say Tuffy, Lord Phantom and The 3 Wildebeest respectively.

'sense i have missed tardis, thyne faces are alight with musings' said Gnasher.

'indeed you have Sire Gnasher. a Peek Tar of fine style happened by Sire Beast and a jolly mono-parlux by Sire Wildebeest did pass. a great pity on thyne self we share' Lord Phantom replied.

'many a more we shall parlay in presence of all, i await time and happen' said Gnasher.

t.b.c..

Hoover paddle mitten
Bore buggy aye!
Heffer heffer lark
Ooh ooh tartar
Stallone trinket farm

lone cat gunfighter ambled across the samurai wainscotting. 'fear my wit of tongue and kneading skills' said she. the scout jamboree did not see her but felt her timtam presence. ark ark yes it is, but ha! morris minor carnage follows the path of the wandering one, the cat of the pillow fight.
!smee dribble jacks

Prolific soccer beatings
Hear ye umbrella stand
ha ha violin
butter Capone Edgeware
Friar Tuck beetle

rum, bourbon over tonic smelly beast ray beams. If these are my sonic wave tran-samples then quit my chest thumping to the minimum. i cannot give you my best so lactate what you can and feel the used oil hand clenching. jamboree pixel hunting can be found by miniscule porkers. beef London spar Leviticus makes no spittle, but cavalier ghost canines are the overlords of cat-kind.
&beetle

Herculian weetbix samples
Ah! Rolleston bitmaps
Ooh ooh keyboard junkets
Stimpy hero overtones
Fan next to the

toy car brushing the maple fig leaf. he or she knew it to be true but the comet passed the ovarian battle scene long before mankind blighted this earth. dwarf sun, dwarf ant, who buts it anyway? not me, Jimbo, for i am the ruler of sprockets and angels. be not the next fixture in the tardis of Anubis my darling. wee! you trodden on the jamboree silvercake.
!bora bora who knows what

Futney barnes beefeaters
Ya its tribe
Feety feety pond water
Ralph ralph ralph
Ray Finkle parlux


Blythe Paddington was a great Madam Chalet fan. he tweeked the meager major fish slappers when he bit the all mighty poster on the wall in the seventies.
Womble me then and still Womble now, funny how memories come like a fish to lunar rock samples. learn me this and I will be the almighty saffran jamboree tinkle beast.
&cupped triple niners

Merkladian fark bomber
Teepee long keeper
Quark Kennedy gimball
Vulture tennis pinkie
Tokyo bus boolian

my Jarvis main penguin had a metacarpal hose drier which he frequently spade in the dry, how funny it was too see! by the Lords of Naff doeth it see me train the bottoms of squealing butter-pies into submission or jump the amoebe pipeline into what can only be called the mammalian jamboree.
!tree the fat line

Spun jerry driptart
Vulture crowbar
Pid ticky kwee kwee
Flarming teackle
Moose Wellington bystander.

he was a member of the family, all dripping white in peony. i thought he liked the tickety-boo of the running with scissors brigade, but this was a jamboree thang. yup, pony girl would go all stinky beads over this one.
?ha tinkle